April 22, 2009

If i could i would

"I could have done it if ________ (fill in the blank with any reason why you didn't). Fear is an interesting thing to me. We all have it. Some of us carry fear with us more than others, but we all have it. The reality is that if you are saying the above sentence, you did not do it and regardless of the reason for not doing it, you still didn't do it! I was not afraid to fall off. I was not afraid to pull hard with the intension of sending a route. I simply just lacked the fitness to push my body all the way to the anchors. That's pretty much it. No "i could have done it if...." excuses. I just couldn't do it! In trying hard and failing i gained more fitness and desire to get more fit.

The Red River Gorge is pretty darn amazing! The climbing is some of the best power endurance i've experienced. The climbers here try hard... damn hard and only give up when gravity becomes more than they have in fitness to battle it. I was inspired by both the men and women who where pushing, fighting, and flying up and off of routes. I can see how comfortable i have become saying "take" when things feel too hard and the outcome of success is uncertain. The power of others trying hard found it's way to me and despite the possibility of hitting a very large boulder, i continued fall 20 ft, swinging wildly close to a large leg breaking boulder, yet still didn't send the rig. Oh well, it was a cool route anyway! I'll come back someday and hopefully be a bit more fit than i am now.

Dog Leg 512a

Me on another incredible 5.12a

project belay madness

His and hers energy drinks... got BAWLS??

The route i was projecting at the Bob Marley Crag

The "Welcome to Seneca Rocks" sign!

We arrived at Seneca Rocks in West Virginia late last night. This place is pretty cool. We've explored some of the local flavor while resting and waiting for better weather. It was actually snowing here. The weather does look better tomorrow and through the rest of the week. It may even be too hot by Saturday. That would almost be a welcome change from the constant freezing days and nights we've had this trip.

We've been burning down the days from both ends with copious amounts of energy drinks, hard climbing, social hours post climbing, and long talks about life, love, and tragedies. I've reflected a lot on my past and continue to see the future with clarity. I love and miss my wife, Heather and value the freedom and trust she gives me to be who i am. She, like me, lives without fear or a need to control someones actions or desires. In return it keeps me coming home to a happy and healthy relationship. Our time together is wonderful and those times we are able to travel with others, keeps the love and respect between us very much alive. I am a lucky man.